At this rate it is very likely I might kill myself one day right?
I'm 22, in college, trying to make it doing tis pre med thing, but my GPA is low so I'm sure I'll fail. I haven't taken a shower in a few days and look and feel like crap, pimples all over my face and my hair messed up. I don't have money. My parents and I am poor, so that makes things worse. I want a boyfriend but all guys want is ***** sex ***** and I'm tired of it. I want love and affection and something real. I'm tired of life and this world, it all seems like hard work with no reward and I dont want to deal with it anymore. I pray to God to help me, but he must not care since I am still stuck in this ***** hole. I envy and dispise rich people, they have it so easy just go and buy whatever they want when they want and can escape the world by taking a vacation to the bahamas. I am not so lucky. I also have health problems. Why did God do this to me, someone that NEEDS money is so poor and failing at life. How can I have faith in him when others have it so easy and some of those people don't give a ***** about others either? I wish i was never born or born to someone who could have given me what i needed in life.
Everytime I feel this way I have suicidal ideation, so I'm thinking one of these days maybe years form now, if things don't start looking up soon, It will be very likely I will in fact kill myself. It always seems to be the only way out esp when the world is only getting harder and harder to deal with.
November 20th, 2011 at 10:33 pm
First of all, there is no God. SO don't blame it on someone who doesn't exist, that doesn't help the matter a single bit.
You are blessed with a life, and your mission right now is to earn what others may never be able to. Rich people aren't always happy, there are things money can't buy.
You need to first stop blaming others around you. There's nothing wrong with boys wanting sex, that's what the male human is born to do. There's nothing wrong with being rich, their parents earned the money with sweat and blood, and they have the right to spend every bit of it.
So stop blaming others for YOUR problems. Your real problem is your shitty GPA, work on that please. I'm one of those who gives a **** but I never do it nicely so bear with me. Go take a bloody shower and get into shape, and spend some quality time with your text books. Do it for yourself for Christ's sake.
Or take the short cut and kill yourself already but keep in mind that nobody ever gives a **** about someone who doesn't even have what it takes to live. You don't have to put an effort to live, you breath automatically and your heart beats by itself. And if you call that difficult you might as well die and save some resources for those kids who knows the value of life in Africa.
Slap yourself and look in the mirror, everything can be changed, but not with your current shitty attitude. Good luck.